Let me tell you something about Mao Zedong. We were best friends in the Comintern. I know, right? It’s so embarrassing. I don’t even… Whatever. So then in 1959, I started hanging out with American presidents, who were totally gorgeous except when they refused to leave West Berlin, and Mao was like, weirdly jealous of them. Like, if I would blow him off to hang out with Ike, he’d be like, “Why didn’t you tell me you were going to Washington?” And I’d be like, “Why are you so obsessed with me? Also Ike wants to know if you’ll free those prisoners now.” So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-Party member corn festival, I was like, “Comrade, I can’t invite you, because I think you’re a Stalinist.” I mean I couldn’t have a Stalinist at my corn festival. There were gonna be peasants there uncollectivized. I mean, right? He was a Stalinist! So then his ambassador called my ambassador and started yelling about Marxist revisionism, it was so retarded. And then he dropped out of the alliance because no one except Enver Hoxha would talk to him, and then when he came back in the fall for the 22nd Party Congress, all of his hair was cut off and he was totally weird.

Nikita Khrushchev’s memoirs.

A fabulous submission from gedenkenbrauchtwissen!

(via itsrainingmensheviks)

  • 879 Plays
  • AirbendingLe1f

somethingfortheladies:

Le1f - “Airbending”

This one goes out to my co-writer and good pal Charlie who is obsessed with Avatar: The Last Airbender. Let’s talk about how Le1f is one real nerdy dude; he references not just Avatar but also X-Men, alchemy, and Lord of the Rings. Plus, that bass! Those verbal “woah oh oh ohhhh” and “boom-kats”!

Dog: Hello koi Koi: HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG!
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Dog: Hello koi

Koi: HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG! HELLO DOG!

(via thatwrinklesmybrain)

Source: metapod